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Online Dating After 50: Top Tips to Finding the RIGHT Man for YOU! Do You Know What You Really Want?

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when I ask someone what do you want your love life a lot of women could tell you what they don't want big time so we're looking at a profile we go no that's not what I want and without that clarity of this is what I want you miss really good men that's a huge issue for most women thanks so much for tuning in again to our second act with Paige and Silke I'm happy that Lisa Copeland is here for another segment on how to find love after 50 thanks for staying with us Lisa oh my pleasure it's fun to be here with you Silke well in case you missed our first segment we will link to that where Lisa clarified that in order to start again you know you need to make sure you heal and that you're ready to get out there now that we've determined we're ready to get out there Lisa what's what's the next thing that we need to be aware of that may have be different than when we were you know dating 20 years ago well there's two things to be aware of and they both were all around men the first one is understanding who these over-50s men are and then the second one is understanding who the right man is for you so are you saying that a mistake that women make is expecting or looking for the kind of man they first date you know that we were dating in our 20s or 30s well that is a big problem that we are still looking for that kind of guy because we don't see ourselves aging because and we don't see our friends aging unless we haven't seen them in a long time but nowadays with Facebook we see everybody every minute of their life that so we're shocked when we go online and we see these people that look like our parents and grandparents but we really do look like that but we don't see it because our hair is long, we wear jeans so we get out into the dating world and we're looking for that hot studly guy and in over 50 dating there can be attractive but we're all aging and we are all looking a lot different so and women and men get a little messed up on this point of view and they go on a date and they're looking for hot chemistry or this huge attraction factor and for women as you get to know a man yes and get to know his personality he becomes more attractive to you you know that is such a great point that you just made and my friend Karen who's been in the show a lot she I helped her online date at 59 and that is exactly you described her to a tee that I mean that so thank you for bringing that up she and I shouldn't mind me telling you this but if she's an attractive woman she you know at 59 very healthy fit etc and you know we're going through the pictures she's oh my God look at all these old men who's that coming out you said Karen this one's like two years younger than you and and she is with and I'm happy to say with it with a man now that she met online on match they're perfect for each other I mean they're like meant to be but that's only because she was you know I kept pushing her to not give up and then she'd go out with somebody that she may not be initially like not that she wasn't attracted to him but it wasn't like this oh wow he's gorgeous so she just made your case anyway I digress a lot of women are actually looking for a needle in a haystack you know when I asked someone what do you want your love life a lot of women could tell you what they don't want big time and the problem is is if you believe in the law of attraction the universe doesn't know the difference between what you don't want and what you want so you need to focus on what you want and oftentimes were not clear so we're looking at a profile we go no that's not what I want and without that clarity of this is what I want you miss really good men that's a huge issue for most women and they also look for chemistry now chemistry comes from our DNA coding back in the day when we were young and when we were young but also back in the day from the caveman days and what happened back then is you were looking for someone that you could mate with and who would create strong children for you because they had to survive and that was chemistry truthfully chemistry nowadays is not as important it's nice to be attractive chemistry can grow and that's a much better thing to slowly grow chemistry what you really want is someone that's gonna be they're gonna have fun with to support you through the ups and downs of life for you to support them to have to go on vacations with go out with friends with and to be a great companion and have a lot of fun as however you choose to make the relationship chemistry is not sustainable it's a hormone that was all of this go back to my two-year marriage which I mentioned in our first video I cried when he laughed it was like the chemistry was so intense and if you have this kind of chemistry with someone it feels good in the beginning but it doesn't let you build a friendship and you need when you want to have a good relationship you need a heart connection a friendship and some type of intimacy connection and the three together is what gives you the potential and had I know this when I was dating my second husband I would have said uh-oh we're missing a friendship because it was all chemistry so when you work with your your clients your coaching clients Lisa how do you help them identify that are there do you make lists – I mean what what's a good I could take away tip that we can give our viewers well we create together what's called a quality man template because you need to get this clarity and it is more than just he has a certain job a certain look in chemistry it has to be what's important to you what values match because for you can have all the qualities on your list every single one of them and the relationship doesn't work and probably the reason is is he either has a deal-breaker or your values do not match each other's values and that's a huge issue you really really need that and you can't tell that from someone's picture that takes time to get to know you also have to get really well aware of the type of man you're attracted to and probably stay away from him that if you that type of man was good for you you would be with him yeah and that's why we need to really go out there and date all types of people but when women work with me and they create this template with me what happens is is number one they're stopped looking for the needle in the haystack all of a sudden they can see different men and number two is that this more quality men start showing up there they're a better match for them and if the chemistry's not there right away but the guy's got everything on their template they stay with that and – and then the chemistry has a chance to grow yeah no no exactly yeah that that was hard I remember that was hard for me it was you know dating someone even as when I was young I would never I never went out with anybody unless I thought I could marry them of course I was young and stupid and then you time that's what your DNA coding was for that yeah I we're coming to the end of this segment now and is there anything you want to add about expectations managing your expectations when you're putting yourself back out there get really clear on your values because that is and how you want to feel around the man those are the two things that they're really going to identify if he's a good fit for you and I'm not saying the chemistry how you want to feel around the man I'm saying does he make me feel good do I feel loved do I feel cherished do I feel adored or do I feel like I'm defensive all the time you don't want someone like no matter how much chemistry you have and also besides that the values you have to share each other's values so if you don't your relationships gonna fall apart yeah well Lisa thank you for that we will you stay with us now for one more segment I'd like to start diving into you know what this online world looks like now I know it's changed since I was out there so thanks for you know staying over and we'll see you on the next segment of our second act with Paige and Silke thanks again for joining us today I hope you found this information helpful if you haven't already done so please just take one second to subscribe to our channel buttons right over here and for more videos on finding love again after 50 please visit our website 2ndacttv see you soon

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